kotp
November 8, 2023, 5:29pm
21
Not really a Dad joke, but one of Bram’s signature blocks in 2023:
Q. What happens to programmers when they die?
A: MS-Windows programmers are reinstalled. C++ programmers become undefined,
anyone who refers to them will die as well. Java programmers reincarnate
after being garbage collected, unless they are in permgen, in which case
they become zombies. Zimbu programmers leave a stack trace that tells us
exactly where they died and how they got there.
Bram Moolenaar - creator of Zimbu, Vim Script and Vim
3 Likes
I decided to go back to my ex-girlfriend.
Explanation: Attempting to access a nonexistent memory address
2 Likes
kotp
February 1, 2024, 4:39am
25
This year’s Fibonacci convention is going to be really special.
Apparently it’s as big as the last two put together.
7 Likes
Programmers typically avoid bars. They don’t like tabs.
4 Likes
glennj
May 29, 2024, 12:40pm
27
My birthday card from my daughter included these:
Why do programmers confuse Christmas with Halloween? Because 31 oct = 25 dec !
Why did the edge server go bankrupt? Because it ran out of cache !
Proud parent of a potential geek
8 Likes
What did the variable say to the compiler?
4 Likes
kotp
July 26, 2024, 2:48am
29
Remind’s me of my programmer great great great uncle from the late 1700’s when he was a programming privateer travelling on the Spanish Trade routes.
Yeah, he programmed pier to pier networks.
4 Likes
What’s the most widely used language in programming?
4 Likes
Alright. Time to get some NEW jokes cookin’. (Even if they suck - my jokes suck.) What is a programmer’s favorite grade? (on everything besides computer science - they need A+'s on that)
They like to get a C.
This is probably the oldest joke in the book, but I’m gonna try it out.
The function stole all of his cache.
It was a pretty cool Joke
Why do regular users prefer light mode?
Because they know light attracts bugs, but at least they can see them while they panic and call the nearest tech-savvy friend for help!
1 Like
glennj
March 3, 2025, 3:59pm
34
HOW DOES THE LIBRARIAN CONNECT TO HER REMOTE SYSTEMS?
5 Likes
kotp
March 4, 2025, 8:18pm
35
That joke was quiet good.
3 Likes
kotp
March 4, 2025, 8:25pm
36
It was crazy, as a similar thing happened on the diary farm, but it was just cows causing udder chaos and like your zoo incident, that’s no bull .
But it reminds me of the computer system where every number type was base 8, and it was octo chaos .
1 Like
atk
May 9, 2025, 5:36pm
38
“Timing!”
“What’s the most difficult thing to get right in asynchronous programming?”
3 Likes
Why are you not supposed to tell jokes to open-source developers?
They wouldn’t git it anyway.
2 Likes
What do you call a root user’s die?
A sudo random number generator!
What do you get when you cross a programming language with a clam?
If you’re lucky, what might be inside it?
4 Likes
I tried to write a Python joke, but indentationError.
It wasn’t funny in the right context.
1 Like
atk
July 7, 2025, 6:33am
42
How could the functional programming skip school?
6 Likes
