It seems so logical and right but every time I enter the arena I sit there wondering: what if he or she keeps asking deeper questions and I don’t know the answer? Or even worse, I offer a fluent and convincing answer but it’s really quite wrong. I talk and write easily and that can be a trap too. I’m not a professional, I love it and I’m confident it will deepen my knowledge. I’ve received top notch mentoring and I compare myself to my mentors. I’m just not on the same level.
I see topics about people waiting for days and months for a mentoring session. Maybe it’s ok to be honest about my own level to any other person requesting a mentoring session.
I can choose the exercises that are not too hard and here and there will be able to offer some good comments but when asked about prototype in js or what exactly “this” refers to in some complex javascript method… oh dear. I’ll probably be out of my depth.
I don’t think mentoring is about mentors asking you questions about specific things in the way you describe. It’s more like a review of your code, helping you identify areas that need improvement. Some mentors will show you better or different ways to approach problems, while others will nudge you in a particular direction so you can explore things they believe will be valuable to you. There’s really nothing to be afraid of.
I know, it’s about helping people with their code.
I have great mentors and I see messages asking ME to mentor others.
I would like to mentor others but I’m not as good as the people that mentor me.
I’m worried that I won’t be able to answer questions the way I’ve have been given answers.
I don’t think it matters too much how good you are. Everyone starts somewhere. You can accept requests you’re completely comfortable with or choose ones that challenge you. It’s not just the mentee who benefits, the mentor is supposed to learn a lot too.
If there’s a difficult question, take some time to learn about the topic. Search online, try things out locally, or use AI to help explain things to you. Just try to make the experience as comfortable as possible for both you and the mentee. When using AI, remember its purpose is to help your understanding, not to provide an answer you can simply copy-paste.
You’ll make mistakes along the way, but that’s okay. See them as opportunities to improve.
In a nutshell, my take on mentoring is this: focus on the positive things that can come out of it rather than the negatives. So don’t worry, it’s going to be alright.
mentoring is something that can be learned just like any other trade. Sometimes you’ll fumble for a bit until you find the right words, but if you are lucky enough to have a mentee who actually engages in a conversation, initial problems can be overcome.
In a previous life towards the end of the last millenium (heh…) I used to introduce myself as “Hi, I’m your teacher and I make mistakes”. Even now, as freelance software developer, I still can’t refrain from adding “of course there will be bugs in the software” during initial talks, which is usually followed by a short discussion of how those errors are brought into existence.
About the “not as good your mentors”: Well, that’s to be expected of a new mentor. Once you’ve done this for 30 years straight and seen “everything” and manage to remember it in a timely fashion, your answers will be a model of streamlined expert knowledge tailored to the specific needs of the student. How do you get there? By doing it for 30 years straight (and keeping your sanity and memory alive) and reflecting on what worked and what didn’t, refining your explanations and your way of interacting with mentees all the time.
What do you do if asked something that you don’t know? There are several options: (a) Admit that you don’t know the answer. (b) Research the topic, maybe run some experiments, provide the results. (c) Same as (b) but describe the process to the mentee (teach them how to fish etc.) (d) all of the above.
It will take time but you helped not only the mentee with facts and meta-information, you have also learned something new yourself.
Some smart guy once said “docendo discimus” (must have been smart since he wrote Latin), which should translate to “we learn by teaching”. You witnessed the process of my learning how to describe closures by yourself :-)
Making mistakes is a great learning experience for everyone involved. So don’t be afraid. All you have to lose is your ignorance about things you may have misunderstood.
Being a mentor improved my ability to review other’s code, which is definitely a win.
I’m confident that mentoring will help me at least as much as a mentee and it’s true, everyone starts somewhere.
I feel quite grateful for this entire platform. The mentoring approach is wonderful and the fact that it’s for free… If this weren’t happening on the internet I’d be making lemon cake with candied fruit for everyone, handing out leaflets or whatever just to do something in return.
Thank you for the empathy and the encouragement. I appreciate especially the line About the “not as good your mentors”: Well, that’s to be expected of a new mentor.
It’s quite reassuring to know I don’t have to be that good / knowledgeable / experienced and that I’m allowed to become that.
You are quite right. One exclusively learns through mistakes. I wouldn’t know of any other way. I just don’t want the mentee to be the victim of my mistakes though I think it will be allright. I will mentor exercises that I’ve solved myself and I can choose the ones that I feel comfortable with.
Even saying things like “I am not sure about this, but… and I have explored it to realize… so what do you think?”
It will present that you are also exploring and learning, and that kind of communication is going to be taken with less “someone with authority stated and so it must be so”, and “I got to explore this and determine and confirm with someone else”.
It also will likely put the other person at ease as well, since as humans we often feel like we do not want to make mistakes in front of others.
