Programming "Dad Jokes"

Social
21

Not really a Dad joke, but one of Bram’s signature blocks in 2023:

Q. What happens to programmers when they die?
A: MS-Windows programmers are reinstalled. C++ programmers become undefined,
anyone who refers to them will die as well. Java programmers reincarnate
after being garbage collected, unless they are in permgen, in which case
they become zombies. Zimbu programmers leave a stack trace that tells us
exactly where they died and how they got there.

Bram Moolenaar - creator of Zimbu, Vim Script and Vim

3 Likes
24

I decided to go back to my ex-girlfriend.

segmentation fault


Explanation: Attempting to access a nonexistent memory address

2 Likes
25

This year’s Fibonacci convention is going to be really special.

Apparently it’s as big as the last two put together.

6 Likes
26

Programmers typically avoid bars. They don’t like tabs.

4 Likes
27

My birthday card from my daughter included these:

  • Why do programmers confuse Christmas with Halloween? Because 31 oct = 25 dec!
  • Why did the edge server go bankrupt? Because it ran out of cache!

Proud parent of a potential geek

7 Likes
28

What did the variable say to the compiler?

Cache me if you can

3 Likes
29

Remind’s me of my programmer great great great uncle from the late 1700’s when he was a programming privateer travelling on the Spanish Trade routes.

Yeah, he programmed pier to pier networks.

4 Likes
30

What’s the most widely used language in programming?

Profanity.

3 Likes
31

Alright. Time to get some NEW jokes cookin’. (Even if they suck - my jokes suck.) What is a programmer’s favorite grade? (on everything besides computer science - they need A+'s on that)
Their favorite grade is (cue the drumrolling)

They like to get a C.

32

This is probably the oldest joke in the book, but I’m gonna try it out.
Why was the function richer than the variable?

The function stole all of his cache.

33

It was a pretty cool Joke

Why do regular users prefer light mode?

Because they know light attracts bugs, but at least they can see them while they panic and call the nearest tech-savvy friend for help! :bug::sweat_smile:

1 Like
34

HOW DOES THE LIBRARIAN CONNECT TO HER REMOTE SYSTEMS?

ssh!

4 Likes
35

That joke was quiet good.

2 Likes
36

It was crazy, as a similar thing happened on the diary farm, but it was just cows causing udder chaos and like your zoo incident, that’s no bull.

But it reminds me of the computer system where every number type was base 8, and it was octo chaos.

1 Like