Programming "Dad Jokes"

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21

Not really a Dad joke, but one of Bram’s signature blocks in 2023:

Q. What happens to programmers when they die?
A: MS-Windows programmers are reinstalled. C++ programmers become undefined,
anyone who refers to them will die as well. Java programmers reincarnate
after being garbage collected, unless they are in permgen, in which case
they become zombies. Zimbu programmers leave a stack trace that tells us
exactly where they died and how they got there.

Bram Moolenaar - creator of Zimbu, Vim Script and Vim

2 Likes
24

I decided to go back to my ex-girlfriend.

segmentation fault


Explanation: Attempting to access a nonexistent memory address

1 Like
25

This year’s Fibonacci convention is going to be really special.

Apparently it’s as big as the last two put together.

5 Likes
26

Programmers typically avoid bars. They don’t like tabs.

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27

My birthday card from my daughter included these:

  • Why do programmers confuse Christmas with Halloween? Because 31 oct = 25 dec!
  • Why did the edge server go bankrupt? Because it ran out of cache!

Proud parent of a potential geek

6 Likes
28

What did the variable say to the compiler?

Cache me if you can

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29

Remind’s me of my programmer great great great uncle from the late 1700’s when he was a programming privateer travelling on the Spanish Trade routes.

Yeah, he programmed pier to pier networks.

3 Likes
30

What’s the most widely used language in programming?

Profanity.