Programming "Dad Jokes"

Know any Programming Dad Jokes? I’ll start.

Why can’t programmers tell Halloween from Christmas?

because oct 31 == dec 25


I know two jokes about the programmer dad.

First: two children at home are rolling on the floor, fighting, screaming and interfering. Mom takes hold of her head and asks her father, a programmer who is sitting at the computer: my God, what is this? Dad answers: version conflict.

Second: the son approaches the father with an astronomy task.

  • Dad, why does the sun rise in the east and set in the west? Why not the other way around? Why doesn’t it stop?
  • Son, don’t break a working program.

I like telling Dad jokes.

Sometimes he laughs.

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What is a programmer’s favorite body part?


Why don’t bachelors like Git?

Because they are afraid to commit.

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Mysql and Postgres enter a NoSQL bar, but leave immediately because there is no table.


Why do programmers use dark mode?

Because light attracts bugs.


Not all about programming…

My friend told me to stop speaking in numbers…

But I didn’t 1 2!

Why did the robot go on vacation?

It needed to recharge its batteries

How do trees access the internet?

They log in!

What happened to the person who sued over their missing luggage?

They lost their case!

What do you call a machine that can monitor the power and effect of a good pun?

A SIGHS mograph
And measure the resistance with your “groan-hmeter

Some aquatic mammals at the zoo escaped…

It was otter chaos!

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What was the programmer’s favorite musical note?


What was the programmer’s other favorite musical note?



That reminded me of this one.

Why do Java developers need glasses?

Because they don’t C#


Unfortunately, I failed my CompSci classes this year.

It’s because I’m non-binary