Programming "Dad Jokes"

That reminded me of this one.

Why do Java developers need glasses?

Because they don’t C#

4 Likes

Unfortunately, I failed my CompSci classes this year.

It’s because I’m non-binary

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Are you a monad?

Because when you are not here I feel the side effects.

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['S','u','n','s','h','i','n','e']

An array of sunshine

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Knock knock.

Race condition.

Who’s there?

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There’s a real good joke about recursion here.

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https://twitter.com/jfbastien/status/1698073729136521569?s=20

Knock, knock…

Who’s there?

Pretty sure that is a UDP joke.

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… it’s me, Java!

I can always tell when I have been coding too much;

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Not really a Dad joke, but one of Bram’s signature blocks in 2023:

Q. What happens to programmers when they die?
A: MS-Windows programmers are reinstalled. C++ programmers become undefined,
anyone who refers to them will die as well. Java programmers reincarnate
after being garbage collected, unless they are in permgen, in which case
they become zombies. Zimbu programmers leave a stack trace that tells us
exactly where they died and how they got there.

Bram Moolenaar - creator of Zimbu, Vim Script and Vim

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I decided to go back to my ex-girlfriend.

segmentation fault


Explanation: Attempting to access a nonexistent memory address

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This year’s Fibonacci convention is going to be really special.

Apparently it’s as big as the last two put together.

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Programmers typically avoid bars. They don’t like tabs.

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My birthday card from my daughter included these:

  • Why do programmers confuse Christmas with Halloween? Because 31 oct = 25 dec!
  • Why did the edge server go bankrupt? Because it ran out of cache!

Proud parent of a potential geek

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What did the variable say to the compiler?

Cache me if you can

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Remind’s me of my programmer great great great uncle from the late 1700’s when he was a programming privateer travelling on the Spanish Trade routes.

Yeah, he programmed pier to pier networks.

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What’s the most widely used language in programming?

Profanity.